


every good intention is interpolation (a line we drew in the array)

by homobirb



Series: still the wild wind blows [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 19:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homobirb/pseuds/homobirb
Summary: Akechi regards him with a look of quiet disbelief, but he doesn’t say anything, just squeezes Akira’s hand tighter. It’s enough for Akira. He’ll just keep repeating it until Akechi can truly believe his words.[sequel to “so now i’m on my tiptoes, trying to see past my ego”]
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: still the wild wind blows [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540000
Comments: 1
Kudos: 79





	every good intention is interpolation (a line we drew in the array)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from [constellations by the oh hellos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eapTDC5es_4&list=PL-1NEmVqae3PHD3seA9rC7rggkkg2VEpf&index=5&t=0s)
> 
> i'll admit, i had no original plans to add any more to the original portion of this story. when i originally had wrote it, i was still reeling from one of the worst portions of my life, still in the depths of my eating disorder, still suffering. i had come a long way already, having healed a lot of maladaptive and crisis-type behaviors, but looking back, i don't think it would have been accurate for me to call me healthy at the time. but now, it's been more than a year. and i've made so much more progress. and i'm actually a lot happier/healthier, finding moments of contentment with this life and the person i've become. and then i reread "so now i'm on my tiptoes, trying to see past my ego" and i think that if i got my happ(ier) ending, then maybe akechi ought to as well. maybe healing is never over. maybe it's just a journey, one you take step by step, day by day, making choices each and every second of acceptance for who you once were, for all the mistakes that haunt you at night, for things you did do but shouldn't have and the things you didn't do but should have. and maybe, in the end, it's about being okay, and if you're not okay, accepting that and taking the steps to be so.

It has poured for days now. One might call it unholy retribution from the heavens, but Akira prefers to not attribute anything else in his life to angry gods; after all, the last one met an ultimate demise under a bullet from his gun.

He’s still alive, and that’s what matters.

Still alive, and so is Akechi, whose huddled form under the blanket is shifted precariously close to the edge of the bed. And when he reaches out to touch him, fingers meeting the bare skin of his back, he feels the shiver ripple through his spine and the _one-two-three-four-five_ of Akechi’s breath in and the _one-two-three-four-five_ of his out breath.

“Want to talk about it?” He’s gotten more patient over the years, become wiser in helping others. His first attempts at trying to catch Akechi when he fell were stumbled and he wasn’t ready for the barbed wire of the detective’s heart to maim his arms, scratching and digging into his flesh.

But it’s been years. And together, they have slowly peeled back a majority of the layers that caged his heart. There are still some scars and soft spots and moments of weakness, but Akechi is now much more forthcoming in letting Akira see him, letting him in, step by step.

Also in letting him pull the detective backwards, his back flush with Akira’s chest. Akira wraps his arms around his midsection, acting like a protective blanket.

“It’s the same as always.” The nightmares, as Akechi has described to him before, are horrific and cruel visions, of past misdeeds and abuses, both real and fictional. Akira idly traces a heart shape into the skin of his chest.

“Yeah?” And although his nightmares are lessening in frequency, the same cannot be said for the intensity. But it’s okay, for he’ll just keep being there, keep holding Akechi during his weakest moments, keep tracing hearts into his skin.

“Yeah.”

They share a moment of silence. Akechi’s breath has since calmed down, no longer a terrified rattle within his lungs. His muscles relax, and he seems to melt fully within Akira’s grasp.

“I love you,” Akira whispers against the skin of his shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss there.

He traces another heart.

“I love you.”

Kisses his neck, although it’s more of just a pressing of lips against it.

“I love you.”

His final destination is whispering it into Akechi’s ear.

Akechi grabs onto his arm, stopping him from tracing his hearts. “You keep saying that, but I can’t find it within myself to believe you.” His muscles are once again tensed, perhaps ready to bolt should the need to escape arise.

Akira kisses the back of his head, then rests his own head back against the pillows again.

“Then I’ll just keep saying it as many times as you need.”

The small sniffles that come from Akechi are his first clue. His second is the way his frame starts to subtly shake. And so he whispers again, “I love you.” The sobs become more overt, the hand holding his arm gripping him tight, forcing his hand into a splayed form, pressing into the plush skin right above his heartbeat. He says it again.

He holds Akechi through it, keeping him protected, whispering the words like a small chant, until the detective’s body begins to still and his tears begin to dry. They stay like that, two bodies interconnected together, until Akechi’s breathing starts to level out, and he can tell he’s just fallen back asleep.

With one more murmured, “I love you,” Akira closes his eyes.

* * *

“Have you ever wondered if this was all pre-determined?” Akechi sits on the fence overlooking the large pond, clumps of clover under his shoes, plain sneakers a welcome respite from his highly decorative detective pair. His head is turned to gaze out over the non-existent ripples in the water, and if it were several years ago, Akira might’ve been worried he would accidentally _not-accidentally_ fall in. They’re in Inokashira Park, the sun warm on their skins, bugs buzzing, the laughter of a small child in the distance. And Akira is more than happy to relax next to him, content.

“In what way?”

“Well, aside from Yaldabaoth pitting us against each other. I know you and the rest of the thieves broke free and wrote your own ending, but what if that course of action was just the script of a different god? In the end, do we still have our own freedom to choose, or are we all just on set tracks of fate?”

“Hmm.” Akira adjusts his glasses. His hand crawls over to where Akechi’s rests, and the detective shoots him a confused glanced but lets him interlace their fingers together. “Then I’d like to thank them for setting me on this path, with you.”

Akechi gives a small puff of laughter. “You’re so cheesy.”

A bird, a goose, with black and gray feathers, swoops down towards the water. It settles upon the surface, floating, still except for the lazy currents of the pond that ever so gently shift its position.

“In a more serious answer to your question, I don’t think these things are pre-determined. What happened at Sae’s palace was _you_, breaking into so many pieces. And your sudden inability to use personas has to be related-”

The goose dives its head down under water, then rears back with some sort of aquatic plant in its mouth. It swallows it down quickly.

“-a punishment, from Yaldabaoth-”

Another goose lands in the water.

“-not a punishment, but a breakthrough. Personas are our inner selves, and if you’re going through such a sudden shift in questioning who you are, what you are, what you stand for, it’s no wonder that Robin Hood and Loki both shattered.”

The second goose attempts to copy the first, but its head comes back from under the surface with nothing to show for its efforts.

“And yet what use would I be without them? Why would a god keep a useless pawn in the game?”

The second goose floats over several feet, then tries again to get food. And again, nothing.

“Akechi.” Akira’s voice is firm. He waits for the detective to look back at him. “You’re more than just a pawn.”

The smile that Akechi quirks his lips into is small, meek. Unsure. “How many times have you said that to me?”

The first goose rips another chunk of plant matter from under the surface of the water. But instead of swallowing it down, it merely holds it in its mouth, green leaves dripping water.

“I haven’t kept track.” The first goose swims over to the second one. “But I’ll keep saying it as many times as you need to hear.”

Somehow, when the second goose grabs on to the plant matter held firmly in the first goose’s mouth, and when the first goose just _lets go_, letting the second goose swallow the sustenance down, Akira isn’t surprised. Akechi regards him with a look of quiet disbelief, but he doesn’t say anything, just squeezes Akira’s hand tighter. It’s enough for Akira. He’ll just keep repeating it until Akechi can truly believe his words.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://itshomobirb.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/homobirb)


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